Shout-out to StitchFix

Last month I ordered my first StitchFix box. I received two dresses, a blouse, a pair of jeans, and a pair of heels. I ended up keeping one dress and the blouse, but returning the rest. I had to exchange the dress and blouse for a size down though, and explained that I was going through cancer treatment so I wasn’t sure what my size was anymore.

On Saturday, Dan brought in the mail and said we received something from StitchFix.

“That’s weird, I swear I didn’t order anything.”

I opened the box and unwrapped a Happiness Planner and a kind note from the StitchFix team wishing me the best and to stay positive. It was so thoughtful and amazing, I started crying. I didn’t expect anything from them, maybe just some understanding if I don’t order another box while I wait and see what happens to my weight. Receiving the card and the planner really brightened my day, and it made me appreciate StitchFix and want to order another box. I’m still waiting, but Dan is planning on another box next month. I’m pretty sure he buys more clothes than me.

I’m planning on using the planner next year, when I hope to make some happy memories. As far as I’m concerned, 2017 can burn in a fire and I would like no memories of this year. We have some great plans for 2018 so I’m looking forward to it!

Thanks again for making my day, StitchFix! And if anyone reading this has ever wondered if you should give them a try, you definitely should!

XOXO,

Gossett Girl

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Chemo Day 2; Radiation Day 4

I’m not gonna lie. Chemo sucks. I was tired on Thursday, and so nauseous on Friday and Saturday I ate the equivalent of one piece of bread and a couple bites of vegetable barley soup. I was supposed to drink a couple liter of waters to flush my kidney, but Friday I got down about 46oz, and Saturday probably around 28oz. I slept for most of Friday afternoon/evening, and was awake probably six hours on Saturday. I finally started to feel better on Sunday, but was so weak from not eating, and my stomach was in pain from being empty for so long that trying to put anything in it hurt. I finally got back to “normal” Monday, just in time to start the cycle again today.

On a positive note, I’ve lost 4lbs. Which promptly came back when I was pumped full of saline and other drugs today and downed my required 2-3 liters of liquid to clean out my kidneys.

My goal for this round of chemo is to eat. My mom has made a magic concoction of fresh ginger, water, lemon, honey, and Korean pepper and that has helped a lot with the nausea. I was so miserable this weekend I wondered if I could just forego the treatment all together. It wasn’t like the worst hangover, but the annoying one in which you can’t tell whether you’re going to throw up or not (I did not). It reminded me of morning sickness, which… Isn’t ideal. Hopefully I can stay on top of it this time around by taking my Zofran and Compazine, plus all the ginger in the world.

I was in the infusion center for six hours today. Two were waiting to see the doctor and getting my IV put in (which took three tries. I almost started crying when the first nurse kept missing and digging around for the vein). They had to slow down the infusion after Decadron and Amend as my sensitive veins could not handle all the medicine coming through. I tried working throughout, but the last 30 minutes I got really tired so took a little nap. After that, I went to my radiation appointment and met with my radiologist.

Radiation every day has been ok so far. It’s annoying to drive more than two-hours a day for a 15 minute appointment, but what are you going to do. At least everyone there is nice and I love my doctor. I drove myself yesterday and it was a great way to catch up on some Podcasts! Stuff You Should Know is a particular fave.

Fingers crossed week two of this goes much smoother than week one.

XOXO,

Gossett Girl

Chemotherapy Day 1

They say laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer, in which case chemotherapy is more effective.

 

Mark that checked! I was supposed to start radiation today as well, but insurance didn’t pre-certify it until later this afternoon, so I’ll have my first date with radiation on Friday.

It went pretty well (as you know, chemotherapy can), minus the fact that my princess veins decided to be difficult. I had to be poked twice both for the blood draw and the IV. Like my stomach, my veins like to roll… My delicate veins also didn’t like the hour-long infusion pump strength, so I will now be receiving my Cisplatin in a two-hour dose instead of one. Dan and his mom joined me today. I also got some work done which was nice. Major perks of working from home — Not having to use PTO to go to these appointments, I was there for almost seven hours. I’m hoping I can save up all my PTO for a well-deserved vacation!

It’s a little weird being at a cancer center. Minus two people, I was the youngest person there by about 20 years. Everyone seemed nice, but kept to their visitors. I had read stories about making friends from chemo, but I’m not sure if that will happen.

Side effects right now include weird tingly feelings, exhaustion, and a metallic taste in my mouth. Though the exhaustion could be from waking up at 3am MT, watching Dan run the Missoula Marathon (which he kicked-butt at!), then hopping on a plane to Seattle for a three-hour appointment, worked Monday, then had my one-month follow-up with Dr. Goff.

As I mentioned my stomach roll above… I asked Dr. Goff if that was swelling… Maybe a combination of swelling/fat. And her reply?

“Well, it has been awhile since you’ve been able to workout.”

Harsh.

On a positive note, I can start working out again! I went to yoga yesterday and it was great. I was going to go for a run today, but we ended switching to T-Mobile and were stuck at the store for three hours. I’m excited to get back into working out. I have a goal of running a half-marathon in September… We’ll see how that goes!

Not so positive note, my exam was pretty painful and Dr. Goff is worried about infection, so I’m back on the Levofloxacin, Metronidazole, and a suuuuuuper fun lady cream. Goodbye bourbon for the next 10 days, plus trying to time when I can have dairy.

I’m glad I’m finally starting chemo and radiation. It feels like we’ve been waiting for this for forever, and when this is complete we can finally close this chapter of our lives and move on. Except for those times when we fly back to Seattle every three months for scans. Minor details.

Fingers crossed radiation on Friday goes well!

XOXO,

Gossett Girl

As Time Goes By

It’s been 16 and a half weeks since I was hospitalized in March. 16 and a half weeks since we last heard our baby’s heartbeat. 16 and a half weeks since I was 16 and a half weeks pregnant.

Even though so much has happened in these past couple of months, it seems like time has crawled by. To be fair, I guess there was four weeks of the pregnancy that I didn’t realize I was pregnant.

It’s hard to imagine what I would like 33 weeks pregnant. I’m pretty sure fat. My round face much rounder, my size 7 feet maybe a size 8, my stomach the size of… a beach ball? Definitely more beached whale than Beyonce.

Truthfully though, who knows if I would still be pregnant at this point. While I dream about a normal pregnancy, in actuality I would be 15 weeks into chemo with no hair. I’d be living in Seattle away from Dan. My high-risk OB sat us down in the hospital to give us the facts of pre-mature babies. She made it sound like 24 weeks was the goal, but 28 weeks would give us a greater chance.

Nobody knows how far along I would have carried the baby with the cancer. I know when I think about the pregnancy, the cancer has no place in my mind. I just imagine being the size of a small house, sitting in the Fred’s dog pool, trying to stay cool in our 100 degree summer that we’ve been having.

Dan and I are continuing to plan our future, but it’s days like this that makes me long for what we should have had.

XOXO,

Gossett Girl

Happy 4th!

AKA the last day I have to take my Lovenox shot! That in itself deserves some fireworks. We’re heading to a bbq at a friend’s tonight after a long day hiking, fishing (just Dan), and attempting to make sourdough bread. We are trying a sourdough starter — Wish us luck. The hike was 6 miles round trip and the most exercise I’ve done since… Probably February. I feel good though so hopefully this means I’m recovering quickly!

Fisherman Dan
Fisherman Dan.

It’s been a busy weekend with one of my best friend’s visiting me from Omaha and bringing out one of her friends, her mom, her mom’s boyfriend, and her 120lb wooly mammoth. Ok, maybe a German Shephard-Malamute mix, but really a wooly mammoth (as seen above). I haven’t seen her since my wedding and I was so excited to hangout with her.

Chemo and radiation start next Wednesday, so I’m trying to relax as much as I can before then. Minus the fact that Dan will be running the Missoula marathon on Sunday and then we’re hopping on a plane to Seattle right after for my follow-up appointment on Monday. Then flying back that night. And then my MIL is coming on Tuesday. So yes, trying to relax until then.

Hope you have a safe and happy 4th!

XOXO,

Gossett Girl